My Life In Word

~by Roy Croft

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
 
I love you
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
 
I love you
For ignoring the possibilities
Of the fool in me
And for laying firm hold
Of the possibilities for good.
 
Why do I love you?
 
I love you
For closing your eyes
To the discords ---
And for adding to the music in me
By worshipful listening.
 
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
And out of the words
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
 
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
To make me happy.
 
You have done it
Without a word,
Without a touch,
Without a sign.
You have done it
Just by being yourself.
 
After all
Perhaps that is what
Love means.

Knowing why you love someone matters because love without awareness can easily drift into habit, dependency, or projection. When we cannot name the reasons for our love, we risk loving an idea rather than a person—loving what someone provides instead of who they are. The poem insists that love is not rooted in usefulness, improvement, or effort, but in recognition: loving someone “not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you,” and for who they remain even when they do nothing at all. Understanding why we love clarifies our values and keeps love honest. It separates genuine connection from obligation and helps ensure that affection is freely chosen rather than unconsciously assumed.

Expressing that love, especially when it is grounded in such understanding, gives the beloved something essential: being seen. To articulate love is to offer reassurance that their existence alone is enough—that they do not need to perform, fix, or earn their place. The poem shows how, when spoken, love becomes a mirror in which the other can recognize their own worth. This expression steadies relationships; it creates a sense of emotional safety and trust. When someone hears why they are loved, love becomes less fragile and less conditional. It transforms from a feeling into a presence—one that affirms, anchors, and allows both people to remain fully themselves.

Simona A. Brinson

Photo by Shaira Dela Peña on Unsplash

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