I'd walk a thousand miles
Just to take a peek
I wouldn’t utter a sound
I wouldn’t even speak
I'd only wish my eyes to see
Your beauty aged by time
Then I'd fade away unwillingly
Back into the sublime
Simona A. Brinson
The things she carried: His brokenness. His darkness. His abuse. Physical. Sexual. Psychological. The weight of his words – Careless. Daggered. Cleverered. Unspoken. His insecurities. His infidelities. His fractures. His fissures. His busted ego. His lack of integrity. His false bravado. His cruelty. His lack. His oppression. His deprivation. His banal existence. His infantile masculinity. She was so bogged down with all his baggage that she was incapable of carrying her own. So before you judge her, consider the things she carried. Simona A. Brinson
It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. That dragonfly soared to heights previously unknown. They were beyond grasp. Unattainable. Not because of self-limitations but by other’s constraints. But Lord, when she spread her wings — if you could have only seen that DRAGONFLY!
I had initially written a poem called Dragonfly for a friend who was going through a difficult time. At the time, she wasn’t ready to receive the message. However, an opportunity presented itself to share it with another. I shared it with a co-worker. And the story, as I remember it goes a little something like this…
One morning I was sitting at my desk, and I just happened to look over toward her office. Something was different. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. So, I sat there observing, my eyes scanning the confines of her 10×10 in search of what it was. Everything was in the same place as it was the day before. There were no new pictures or decorations. The only thing that appeared to be visually different was that it was brighter.
Still a bit perplexed, I walked into her office and asked, “Did you change something in your office?” She looked around, then said that she had not. I said, “It’s brighter in here. Did you get a new light bulb put in?” Again, she replied, “No.” At this point, she is looking at me like I had lost a bit of my mind. I explained to her why I was asking. I said, “I thought something changed because it is so much brighter in here today, even you look different.” In a moment of unfettered exchange, she shared with me that she had recently broken up with her boyfriend. She said this was the first time in years she felt like herself. I stood up from the chair from which I was seated, extended my hand, and said to her, “Well, Eileen, it is nice to finally meet you!” The expression on her face was one of sheer joy and gratitude. Her smile engulfed her face. Her brightness grew even brighter, bursting into the fibers of my soul. She said, “Thank you. It’s is nice to meet you, too.” At that moment, we became friends.
It was her; she was the change. She was the shining light. Her aura was beaming. She had always had dark circles around her eyes; they were gone. It was as if someone had photoshopped them from her face. Dark circles come from fatigue. Merriam-Webster defines fatigue as weariness or exhaustion from labor, exertion, or stress. She was weary, exhausted, and stressed from the laborious effort she was putting into an unhealthy relationship. When she freed herself from the confines of that relationship, she blossomed. She had set free the essence of HER!
After this exchange with her, I knew what I would be sharing with her for Christmas, which was about two weeks away. Dragonfly!
Photo by Simona A. Brinson
I am pretty sure we cried. Her, because I saw her. I know I did because I am a water-bag when it comes to seeing people grow and evolve. I told her that I wanted to experience what life had waiting for her. The year came and went. A few weeks before Christmas, I sat at her desk with a sticky pad and made bullet point notes of her new life. Her Christmas present from me: Dragonfly, Too.
To see her transformation was mesmerizing. I had watched her mature before my eyes. This maturity came from change. With that change came self-realization. Self-realization was the result of her mental and emotional maturity. For the first time in a long time, she had a clarity of vision and thought. She began to self-reflect. Her image of self became uninhibited. She was finally able to see beyond the limitations and the mundane things of this world. She had allowed herself the dive into the vastness of her mind. The depth of her character expanded. I saw in her power and poise that I hadn’t seen before. She began to navigate her life with such grace and elegance, like that of a ballerina skillfully navigating the stage. A pure display of the power of self-love!
She is the reason that I chose a dragonfly as my logo. I had not understood the impact of my words until experiencing this moment with her. It opened my eyes to the notion of using my words to effect change in others. I mean, not only did she soar, she even got a dragonfly tattoo. Although I haven’t seen her in many years, a part of her resides inside of me. I will always be thankful for that moment of authenticity that we shared. Thank you, Dragonfly! Keep flying!
Food For Thought:
Sometimes in order to heal we have to let things go. What are you holding onto? What do you need to free yourself of? A person? A place? A thing? A job? What is it in your life that has you in bondage, chained and fettered to the ground, unable to soar?
Names changed to protect the privacy of individuals. I chose Eileen because it means shining bright light.
In the valley I have walked
In the valley I have died
In the valley I have lived
In the valley I have cried
In the valley I have sown
In the valley I have reaped
In the valley I have crawled
In the valley I have leaped
In the valley I have shinned
In the valley I have crept
In the valley I have dimmed
In the valley I have slept
In the valley I was never alone
In the valley HIS light still shone
Simona A. Brinson
For so long you've walked loves tightrope
Hoping you wont fall, hoping against hope
In search of a heart much like your own
But with each attempt you're tossed and thrown
Into the abyss of shattered dreams
Where you can hear the silent screams
Of long ago and forsaken love
My friend, take heed and rise above
The lowly depths of love's despair
Because your someday someone is just over there
With just a few more steps and maybe a leap
You'll embrace the love you're meant to keep
Simona A. Brinson
I long to explore your world Your hideaways and hidden doors Your stained-glass windows And hardwood floors I want to take each stair One step at a time So that you may feel As I cautiously climb Into the light Of your precious soul So that I may see Your pieces in whole After I’ve explored Your soft insides I want to peruse Your earthy outsides Walk barefooted Through your blades of grass Hoping you will allow This stranger’s trespass As I run through your orchard Feeling crispness of air And delighting in the juices Of your sun-kissed pears I want to walk the path To that old banyan tree Just to read the wisdom Upon its leaves I hope someday You will invite me in For then my journey Will truly begin
Pieces and parts
Of my broken heart
Lie scattered on the floor
They're right where you left them
In chaos and mayhem
As part of my home's new décor
Simona A. Brinson